I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
