your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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