Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
