Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
