just survived the first fart of the relationship.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
