i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
