Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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