PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
