Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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