It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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