Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
