The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
