HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
