guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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