our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Green mimosas i think yes
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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