i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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