does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
