Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
