Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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