Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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