I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
