Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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