just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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