I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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