I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
