I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
