Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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