Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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