Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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