now i know why i became what i already was.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
