I'm eating all of the evidence.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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