Someone shit on the floor
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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