You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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