He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
