I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
