I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
