Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
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