that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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