just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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