Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
