yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
