from now on my penis is your penis
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
