the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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