is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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