Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
