Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Let's get the cat blown out
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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