This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
