whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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