maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
