Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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