Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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