4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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