HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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