her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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